Okay guys. It’s time to talk about something really important. Something that is incredibly lacking conversation in society today. It’s time to talk about beauty. True beauty.
Somewhere between make believe princesses and making my first apartment feel like home I was convinced that to be beautiful I had to look, act, speak, and even think a certain way. That I shouldn't feel beautiful if my clothes didn’t look like everyone else’s, my teeth weren't perfectly white, and my body wasn't both thin and curvy. That one blemish would destroy anything pretty on my face. Luckily, after moving into that first apartment, I learned something very important. NONE OF THAT IS TRUE. None of it. I have wonderful parents who have told me this my entire life but for some reason it took being on my own for me to finally hear them. It’s safe to say, I wish I would have listened a little sooner.
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From before I can remember to sophomore year in high school, I was a dancer. I spent countless hours in the studio perfecting every turn, leap, and plié. It wasn’t just a hobby it was my life. School, dance, sleep, repeat… with a few meals in between. That’s why when life got crazy and I had to quit at age fifteen, I felt utterly, and completely lost. This is the first time I can remember having real and deep insecurities. Of course, I had felt self-conscious many times before- I mean, I was a teenage girl- but never in the way I did that year. Leaving all my friends, leaving my passion. I had just begun a new life with far more free time than I even knew existed and let me tell you, I was lonely.
Shortly after my decision to quit, I began to feel very uneasy about my body figure. My cheeks were too chubby, my body wasn’t beach ready, my hair color was dreadful. You name it, I had a negative thought to go along. I tried everything to become a person I was proud of. Skipping meals, spending hours picking out outfits, using three thousand and more filters on each Instagram post, I did whatever I could but nothing worked. The further away I got from myself, the worse I felt. I became embarrassed about not just my looks but my entire personality too. That’s when I realized, I didn’t want to become someone else, I wanted to be happy being me. So I set off to do it and four years later I’m here to tell you I am happier than I ever have been and I’m happy being me. |